Pillar Four – Taking Control of Your Life

Our emotional vulnerability is our greatest strength

I used to believe that my highly sensitive nature was a curse.

I felt everything so deeply, life felt very rough. And with our world putting so much emphasis on logical and rational thinking, my emotional and vulnerable nature became something I was ashamed of.

Something I felt called to hide and suppress.

But there was a pivotal moment in my life where I learned that this vulnerability wasn’t something to hide – but something to recognize as my greatest strength.

This is the missing ingredient to most support groups

Can we talk about Facebook Groups for a minute?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a lot of great groups and I also have a Facebook Group for everyone looking to lower their stress and build resilience. But some Facebook Groups and other support groups can actually keep you stuck, rather than help you move forward.

In this post I’m going to tell you what to look out for so that you don’t stay stuck on step-one.

who are you? luke or yoda?

Helping others is really important to you.
That’s why you went into a service-based profession, right? You want to make a difference.
You do the same with your family and friends, always being there for them supporting them and helping them when they need it.
But working hard and giving a lot of yourself to others doesn’t mean that you’ll be happy.
In fact, it’s some of the worst advice you’ll receive because it’s just going to lead to disappointment and burnout.
You aren’t Yoda – you’re Luke.

Why you need to be a habit changing ninja

What do you think of when you imagine a ninja?

Someone stealthy, who can sneak around and stay out of sight?

Someone who is highly skilled and knowledgeable about what they need to do to accomplish their mission.

And, let’s be real here, they’re also someone who was capable of covert espionage and quietly assassinating their enemy.

Now that you have that image in your head, I’m going to tell you why you need to embody your inner ninja when it comes to changing your life habits.

Your step-by-step guide to transforming your life

Do you ever look at those people who seem to have their life together, with everything figured out, and wonder what they know that you don’t?
They never seem to struggle, everything comes easily to them and they’re successful, happy, and confident.
It’s like these people know a secret that no one else knows.
Is it just that they’re lucky and have an easy life?
Sort of.
In this episode, I’m going to tell you the secret, and give you the steps you need to get from where you are right now to where you want to be.

Why you had no choice BUT to be unhealthy, unhappy and unfulfilled

You have not consciously chosen to experience all the trauma and struggle in your life.

It’s not your fault.

You were living in stressed-out default survival mode, with your Inner Critic making all the decisions, following your pre-programmed habits and behaviours and following what society and the current trends say you should be doing.

Your Inner Critic’s job is to keep you safe, and your life right now, even with all your struggle and unwanted habits is safe because it is known.

Your body doesn’t like change and responds to change with fear and by turning on your stress response – even if you’re creating positive healthy change.

There are three main obstacles that stand in your way of creating positive change in a way that doesn’t trigger your Inner Critic and activate your stress response.


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